Take a minute to think about all the bright ideas or goals that you never followed through with. Why weren’t you able to accomplish those goals? Sometimes we develop a great desire to do something only to find out we’re not as passionate about it as we initially thought. Other times, the passion doesn’t burn out so easily, but our commitment to allowing ourselves to be great does. If I’m honest with myself, many of the ideas I’ve had were laughable. On the other hand, many of my ideas have been great. If that’s the case, why don’t I have much to show for my huge goals and ideas?
Because I’m a Taurus and I’m stubborn.
But most importantly, because I want all the answers, all the time… and I know I’m not the only one. Sometimes we become consumed with every single detail about our goals that we end up psyching ourselves out. We worry about when our dreams are going to happen, how they’re going to happen, and if we’ll be prepared to handle it all once they happen. We seek validation from everything and everyone but ourselves. We tell ourselves:
“I just need one more person to confirm this is a good idea. I just need one more sign from God to confirm that I can finally move forward with my plan. I just need to make a little more money so I can really get the ball rolling on my dreams.”
We do this because we think our circumstances have to be perfect before something is worth all of our effort. But the thing is, nothing is ever perfect. So we end up half-assing our way through our goals and saying “dah well” when we don’t accomplish as much as we’d like. How can great things ever happen if we’re not fully committed to the things we claim we want?
Many of us think we need all the answers all the time in order for what we want to come to fruition. What we don’t spend enough time thinking about is the fact that there are plenty of people out here flourishing who don’t have it all figured out. No one ever has it all figured out. The key is moving with enthusiasm anyway… even when we can’t see the fruits of our labor. In her book, You are a Badass, Jen Sincero says:
“You must have an unflinching belief in your vision before it’s manifested.”
I know. Easier said than done. Especially when many of us have been conditioned to see things, by default, from a negative perspective instead of a positive one. But when you think about it… what are the chances of something going well? 50%. What are the chances of something not going well? 50%. So why bet on failure when you’re just as likely to experience success?
One thing that’s helping me overcome this perfection/fear mentality is saying, “SO WHAT?” after every doubt I have. For example, you might say…
“I don’t have enough money to do what I really wanna do.”
SO WHAT? Find inexpensive alternatives and make do with what you have until you can afford more.
“I can’t even run a mile right now. How am I gonna lose all this weight?”
SO WHAT? Start with baby steps. Some form of activity is better than doing nothing. This isn’t a race.
Say “So what” enough times to yourself and you end up feeling like a big, whiny baby. You realize that the issues you dwell on aren’t the big problems you make them out to be.
Sometimes I worry that if I start small, I’ll stay small. And if/when things take off, I won’t know how to handle it. This couldn’t be further from the truth. What matters is that you start and believe that whatever you need along the way (discipline, a support system, strength, money, resources, knowledge, etc.) will be available to you when you need it.
What’s one goal you’re scared to pursue? No judgment here.
Tell me in a comment below.
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